When thinking about this blog post I felt the need to almost apologize to those who may read it, but then I thought...no, it's good to feel this way.
I am in love. It's the kind of love I never expected, always dreamed of and to be honest, had kind of given up on. I don't mean to say that I stopped believing in love, I just stopped believing that it might be what God wanted in my life. As long as I can remember I have always wanted to be a wife and mother but through a series of events I began to think that maybe it wasn't God's plan. The thing I forgot during all of that time was that God puts desires in your heart for a reason, he made you this way, and as I sit here I realize that he is slowly but surely putting the pieces into place for my desires to be fulfilled in his time and his glory.
Almost 9 months ago I met the one I call my duck. I could explain why I call him duck, but to anyone else the term will be lost. All you really need to understand is that he is in every sense of the term, my better half.
When he walked into my life I had no idea the path that God was about to lead us on. 9 months later, I'm beginning to understand but I still can't fathom it. When we're together, there is this ridiculous energy that just drives us. I never bought into the whole "soulmate" concept but then you put us together and it makes it hard to question. It literally feels like he is a part of me and I am a part of him. We talk in half sentences, communicate with tiny flickers in our eyes, we read each other's thoughts and we love each other more than imaginable.
We talk a lot about our relationship. The other day we agreed that our relationship is so wonderful and we love each other so much because we each want the best for each other. Love becomes something so intense when it is for the right reasons. We fell in love with each other's souls. We definitely argue but it is always because we are pushing the other to be a better version of ourselves. We are more than boyfriend and girlfriend. We are partners. We push each other every day to love more, to help more, to care more. We both love people and have a deep desire to change the world and stir people up. We live with such passion that when you combine the two of us together there is this energy that just awakens people.
We laugh a lot because people STARE at us. We're unique. We get it.
The other day we walked into the store and I'm not sure what we were wearing but it was probably something bizarre, as most days, between the two of us, we're wearing the rainbow. This guy walking towards us looked me up and down, looked my duck up and down, looked back at me, and then gave a head nod to both of us. We both just turned to each other, made a face and started cracking up. We both knew what the other was thinking at that moment and it just struck us as hilarious. This chain of events happens at least once a day.
Right now, at this very moment, I have the bedroom door shut because my duck has turned the living room into a recording studio and he's laying down the 3 songs he wrote today. As I sit here listening to him I fall more and more in love. He is seriously one of the most magnificent creations I have ever witnessed. God was not playing when he made this kid. It's funny because I've known for a long time that God created me (just as he did everyone) to do huge, giant things in his name. As God places these desires in my heart I get excited and I tell my duck. You know what happens? Duck shares his and they fall perfectly in place with mine. Do you have any idea the joy that fills your heart when you realize God is operating through you, and his will and your will are aligning to create a masterpiece?
It's AMAZING.
I'm so blessed right now. I love my new job, my new apartment and my (not so new) boyfriend. I am overwhelmed on a daily basis by how much God loves me. He has given me every desire of my heart and I don't even feel worthy most days.
My prayer, today and for the rest of my life is that my daily actions glorify Him in every way. I thank Him for the gift of my duck and I absolutely cannot wait to see where he is taking our relationship and what glory he will display in it.
