62 Days and Counting

Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached our final destination, the ride has come to a complete stop, the fat lady sang, and the curtain has been lowered...on one season of my life. Medical leave has an end date...Tuesday, April 23, 2013. In just under a week I return to work after an absence of 12 weeks.

For the past 3 months I have lived in a constant state of "Welcome to your life, where you have no control". I have gone to countless doctor's appointments where I have been given open ended dates. My "schedule" the past 3 months has transformed into something I don't recognize. I went from being busy 19 hours of the day, to literally having nowhere I "had" to be for weeks. I'd have a doctor's appointment every two weeks and church every Sunday but other than that my life was pretty much movies, reading and napping.

I was thinking about what to write in this post but I can't even begin to simplify it. I've had 12 weeks of basically "free" time to think, grow, heal and learn. God has taught me more and I have grown more in these last 12 weeks than I think I ever have in my life. I would love to be able to just show you the movie in my head about this experience. Honestly, I don't recommend breaking your foot in 4 places or missing 3 months of work, but I have to be thankful for what I've experienced these past weeks. It was all part of a plan so huge that I'm only beginning to fathom it.

Next week I go back to my "normal" life. I'm still not even close to 100%. I'm just learning to walk again without my boot or crutches. I'm still not allowed to "chase or restrain children" for 2 weeks. I won't be back to school quite yet either. It's still a process, but the end is near and I couldn't be more excited. I've enjoyed this opportunity but I'm ready to wear two shoes, walk on my own, and get back on track...with a few improvements :-)

Things I Have Learned Part 1

I'll give you a brief glimpse of the thought process I get at 2am after waking up from a poorly timed nap. I'm sitting here and my brain is just running over all my little realizations recently, specifically the past 7 ish weeks on medical leave. Honestly, I've learned so many things I can't put them in one post so I'll just chop them up and spread them out over the next few weeks. Some are funny, some are poignant, some are unable to be classified.

Here are 11 Things I Know Now:

1) Hitting the 40 hour monthly listening limit on Pandora mobile radio is not that hard. Also, I think I figured out the shuffle algorithm.

2) Independence is underrated but not nearly as much as humility.

3) Boredom is a figment of your imagination. Seriously. If you're bored, you're really just giving up, because your mind is fantastic.

4) There is a man named Johnny Rutledge who played for the Arizona Cardinals on 2003. I only know this because my brother's created team on Madden 03 for PS2 replaced the Cardinals roster and we couldn't figure out why the announcer could say "Rutledge" but everyone else was "that guy".

5) Your sleep schedule is the easiest thing to destroy and the hardest thing to fix.

6) I have mastered the patterns of my iPhone battery.

7) You will literally never run out of something to read. There are endless amounts of information available to you.

8) The same can be said for music. You can never stop discovering new music.

9) There are many things I once took for granted that I now appreciate so much. Example: my ability to find humor in any situation

10) I already knew this but it's been emphasized. I have the best brother in the world. How many 23 year old bachelor's would offer to take care of their 25 year old, broken footed, at times overbearing sister?

11) The longest I can stay indoors without freaking out is 3 days. Then I must breathe fresh air or I will inevitably start crying and demanding freedom from the indoors.

Herman Carver

There is a man in my life who ha never failed me. My entire life I've been a "grandpa's girl". I share my grandpa's ginger hair and freckles. We were both at one time tall and lanky. We both enjoy bananas with our morning coffee.

Today I was faced with the thought of losing him. I got the phone call that he was in the hospital my brother looked at me, saw my face, and immediately knew it was bad. Everyone knows I'm a grandpa's girl. My flannel shirt fixation is clearly his doing and what other 25 year old knows who Paul Harvey is?

I would "work" in my grandpa's shop. He'd be caning and I would be chiseling...yes CHISELING, on the work bench at all of 8 years old. We'd listen to lite rock and "...the rest of the story". My grandpa showed The Rockford Files. He showed me that you can take up piano lessons at almost 70 years old. He read The Christmas Story every year before we open presents, he prefers quiet to chaos, he mutes TV commercials. He loves Western movies, toy cars, southern cooking, and my Grandma Grace. I know, without a doubt, that no matter what happens, it will all be okay. Even if I lose my Grandpa Herman on Earth, I'll never lose the man he is. I'll never lose one of the greatest role models I've ever had.

UPDATE: Grandpa is doing well. They are keeping him overnight for observation. Grandma is back home and will be joining the family in The Amen Corner tomorrow morning. Everything worked out in God's timing, all the right people did all the right things and God was right where He needed to be.

Roomlings

My last post was heavy, so I bring you this post for pure giggles.

For the past 3 weeks I have been staying with my younger brother. It's been a great blessing. In a weird turn of events, him and two of his best friends drove up to my place and kidnapped me. He didn't want me spending my 25th birthday alone.

He was making a very generous gesture, one which he might not regret. My brother and I have not lived under the same roof in over 7 years. Not to mention, he's not getting Sarah Grace, he's getting Broken Sarah Grace, 2 weeks post surgery.

We are starting to get this whole roommate situation under control. We already conquered grocery shopping and budgeting, tonight we dipped our toes on cleaning responsibilities.

Let me briefly explain that my brother is a 23 year old bachelor and his bathroom is the cleanliness equivalent to a frat house's. If cleanliness is next to godliness then that bathroom is his ticket straight to hell, and I say that with all the love in my heart.

Tonight...I cleaned it. It turns out, ladies and gents, that when your broken foot leads you to crawling around a lot, you're quite good at scrubbing floors. Let me tell you, that thing smells like bleach and Lysol.

Jake is on living room duty and we're beginning to section off our own personal areas of the apartment. It has come with lots of challenges but also the best moments ever. We bicker back and forth, insult each other, crack each other up and we know how to work together.

I love my brother. I'm so glad he's cool with another four weeks of me. He said as long as I clean the bathroom...haha. I can't wait for the other hilarious moments we're sure to share.

Jake said it best "when you're around my maturity level is at like 8 years old".

Roomlings...the adventure continues.

The Amen Corner

This is not the blog post that I originally set out to write tonight. My intent was to come start a rough draft of what would become my Point of Change Weekend breakdown. I had no plans to legitimately write or post something.

I've decided to share with you the words that God has laid on my heart as of late. I apologize if I'm wordy but have you ever tried to summarize the glory of God?

I attend Point of Change Church of the Nazarene. I am blessed with the most amazing family of Christ. Sunday mornings I am specifically blessed by my seat in church. This may sound strange but it's a real thing. I sit by my 81 year old Grandma Grace. We sit in the back, left corner of the church. The same place we've sat at together for 25 years. This part of the church has always held amazing women of God, true Proverbs 31 women, that have guided me throughout my life. It is "The Amen Corner".

All are welcome in The Amen Corner. We have ages 6 months-83 years old, we praise God, we laugh a lot, and we "amen". A LOT. We continually see God's grace, love and mercy working.

Today in The Amen Corner I got to meet two cousins. My grandfather's nieces. The daughter of my namesake (Sarah), sitting by my other namesake, Grandma Grace.

They had not seen me in almost 25 years. It was such an unexpected blessing to connect with family in the house of The Lord. Now, allow me to veer off slightly but still on the topic of blessings.

For the past few months I have had various things laid on my heart. The most prominent being to 1)get involved in the church 2)pray continuously 3)His Name

I had no idea what "His Name" could mean. I knew what it meant but I had no idea of its purpose in my life. For the last month or so, the song "Your Great Name" has been on loop in my head. I have heard that song MAYBE two times in my life, yet there it was in my head, over and over.

Last night I got home from the PoC Weekend and I did as requested and avoided distraction and rested and meditated on His word. I sat and listened to Pandora radio, read the word and just waited for the spirit. Let me tell you the first song to play...yeah, go ahead and guess. Your. Great. Name.

Okay, that's funny. I keep listening and feel compelled to write down the lyrics. Did I mention that I filled my sketchbook and I've been writing on paper scraps the past month? Did I also mention that I'm staying with my bachelor brother and there wasn't a notebook or paper in sight? There was however a pizza box...

Let me tell you, I wrote the lyrics on that pizza box. You can think that is crazy but it was necessary. I meditated on those words, worshipped God and called on the Holy Spirit. I'm sure by this point I already sound insane so I'll just keep throwing you curveballs. Have you heard these words?

Therefore when Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, "It is finished!" And He bowed His head and gave up His spirit. (John 19:30 NASB)

The phrasing I like is "He released His spirit". That hit me today like a truck. I'm sitting in The Amen Corner, I hear those words and I'm just floored. I think of Pastor Todd's words "He knew his NEARNESS wouldn't be enough for you, so He gave us the Holy Spirit to be IN us."

I realize this post has been all over the place so let me recap this way. The Amen Corner-->Ask God to Show Up-->Filled with the Spirit-->Blessings Rain

Okay, I said all of that to say this. I walked into church today absolutely exhausted. I was worn out from crutching around all day Saturday and emotionally spent from the heavenly overflow. I sat down in my seat in The Amen Corner, said hi to Grandma Grace, met cousins Karen and Carolyn and prepared for worship.

The band played a few songs and the spirit filled the room. As they prepared for their last song, the stage was down to just three members and the spirit rested on me and whispered "Your Great Name". Seconds later the few opening chords began and my mind and heart processed the spirit's words as "Your Great Name" rang out.

I am not kidding you. I have absolutely no reason to lie about any of this but I'll tell you what...I have 10,000 reasons to bless The Lord.

I am so unbelievably alive today. God is so good. I can't even fathom all my heart feels right now. I am so crazy in love with this amazing God of mine (and yours).