Right now. I am a mess. I am teetering on the edge of sanity, healing, life and so much more. I can't explain it, or rather, I'm not willing to right now. There is a small circle of those in my life who I trust and who know literally everything that I know now. They are comforting me, to the best of their ability. Someday, maybe in 6 months, a year, two years, who knows how long, I'll be to a point where I can share my story and help someone else.
I know I'm not the only person in the world with these feelings but right now I feel like it. I think this blog post has come off extremely cryptic. I'm not dying, at least, not of a medical illness or anything. I'm not okay, but I think in time I might be, I just have trouble seeing that point right now.
Right now? I feel disgusting. I feel ugly. I feel broken, betrayed, miserable, conflicted, you name it, I've felt it and cried about it this week. I officially hate the month of July.
What can you do for me? You can pray for me. Encourage me lots and expect little back. Check in on me, I'll feel offended for now but one day I'll look back and appreciate it.
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