Shiny Things

Yesterday was September 1st, which may not be of any real significance to anyone, and it wasn't to me either...until yesterday. It was Sunday and as usual I was planning on going to church at PoC at 10am. The only difference yesterday was that first I had to drop off my boyfriend at the bus station and send him back to the west coast. I was running late already and then after leaving Uptown Normal at 10 am I just made peace with the fact that I was going to be late to church. I slid into the row next to my brother just as Pastor Todd introduced the next two worship songs. My prayer at that moment was for God to allow me to see His face during the service. 

I love worship music. As a child, long before I could really understand the sermon, the worship music was always my favorite part of church. Worship music is the channel through which God allows me to focus on Him. I am a very hyperactive person who is easily distracted. Worship music allows me to work out my holy energy and settle down before the sermon. As the sermon began I got to taking notes, which is my second method of focusing on the sermon. Pastor Todd and I speak the same organizational love language and his sermons are always perfectly built for taking notes. This makes my nerdy self extremely happy and it's one of those silly little things that I thank God for. God really does delight in the tiniest desires of our heart. 

Pastor Todd's sermon this week was on John 9:1-41, the miracle of Jesus healing the blind man with mud. The question he challenged us with was "What if I'm wrong?". In other words, how do we know we're making the right decision? We're doing what we're supposed to. The answer? We don't...unless we are embedding Jesus in every decision we make. We have to turn to Jesus before anything else because nothing else should even come close to demanding our allegiance. We need to focus on Jesus so that he is the filter through which every decision is made. 

Let me tell you a little something about God. He has a plan. Its a gigantic plan that is so amazing and perfectly built for you that if you tried to understand you'd fail to even grasp how great His love for you really is. I started to really understand that right before I made the choice to get baptized. As I felt God opening my eyes to understanding His love, I felt Him leading me to be baptized and proclaim my love for him. Before the sermon Pastor Todd had the ushers pass out plastic diamonds to all of us. These were our "shiny things", they served as the tool to help us understand what shiny thing might be distracting us from God. 

I can tell you right now that there are many things that will distract you from God. My shiny thing came in the form of my medical leave. I was so distracted by my own "misfortune" that I began to question God's plan, God's will and just what the heck was he doing. A churchgoer asked me during my leave what I was doing with my time and challenged me to talk to God and see why He gave me this time. I took his advice and started spending A LOT of time with God. I talked to Him all day long. I had nothing else to do. I read the Bible, I prayed all the time, I listened to worship music like it was going out of style. You know what happened? God showed me His plan...and I didn't like it. I understood that I wasn't graduating in May. This pained me. I had been dying to graduate in May and move back home. I wanted so badly to live in my hometown, to get more involved with my church, to be near my family. I was mad. God's plan was for me to stick it out another three months, graduate in August...then try to find a job. I was beyond ticked at Him, so I gave Him the silent treatment for a few days before realizing that was a worse plan than just going along with His plan and trusting Him. 

You want to know how much God loves me? I made it through medical leave...in His time. When His time had reached He got me home. He fulfilled the desires of my heart. He got me a job in three days. He found me a place to live in three more days. He got me home, safe, sound, loved and happy...in His time, through His method and His love. Let me tell you. I was panicking. I was starting a new job with no place to live...I found one a week before I started my job...I moved in 2 days before I started my job. God provides. 

Yesterday at church Todd ended the sermon on a thud with the question of "what if I'm wrong?". He apologized if that irritated some people because they didn't have closure. The question of "what if I'm wrong?" can be really scary if you don't know for sure. For me, it wasn't scary. I don't say that to brag or make myself look good, but to give God the greatest glory. God has provided for me. I don't question if He's there, if He loves me, if I'm worthy. I didn't get it in my timing. I was irritated. I had to literally wait on the Lord, but it didn't matter. In the end I had everything that I needed and more. I'm not wrong. I don't have to worry about the answer to that question. I'm not here in my hometown because I WANTED to me. I'm here because God WANTED me to be and He cares about what He wants. When you love what God loves...your life isn't scary. I'm not perfect. I don't have everything together. What I do have...is a God that is so big I can't even imagine every aspect of Him. 

Today I got to sing worship songs and hang out with my PoC family as we walked in the Labor Day Parade throwing candy and worship Jesus in the streets. It was such a surreal moment for me. Here I am...in my hometown...worshiping the biggest God who loves me so much, surrounded by people who share in that. 

It was so cool just to bask in what God has blessed me with. I don't need to be distracted by worries or people or situations because I have the shiniest God who is greater than anything I can imagine. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkiVO9Q1SVg&feature=share

TGBTG :-)