Many the Miles

Have you ever met a person that just plain steals your heart? I mean, the kind of person that they enter a room and everything about them just makes you want to listen to everything they say, write it down, commit it to memory and live it out everyday. I met this person today. Her name is Amber and she is who I want to be in 16 years. 

Amber was the guest speaker in my Lifestyles and Career Development class tonight and she captured the room. I'm the first person to admit that when a guest speaker comes up they have exactly 2 minutes to capture me, if I don't buy into you in those 120 seconds I'm pulling out my notebook and I'm making to-do lists and doodling. I had my notebook on standby, I was haphazardly eating my El Burrito chips and salsa, then Amber started speaking and I literally forgot where I was and all I could do was tune in. 

Our guest speakers in L&C Dev class mostly just talk about their lives, their career choices, career failures, and give out unsolicited advice.  Amber said exactly what she should have and then some. Amber works for the same corporation I do, but at a different facility, in a different capacity and she's MUCH higher up. It would be really easy to be intimidated by her success, but she chalks everything...EVERYTHING up to God. She is unabashedly passionate about life in general. I can't even put into words how she owned that room. In the hour that she spoke I learned that nothing shakes her. She is incredibly strong. She has overcome living in poverty, the death of a parent, the birth of children and building a career. She is superwoman. The best part? She didn't make it look easy. She shared her struggles and most of all shared where she gets her power...God and her husband. 

Another thing I'm quick to admit is that I don't know if I believe in true love. I recognize that I am very cynical right now given my circumstances, but I've never really bought into the whole love fairytale. It's funny to so easily admit now that I fell in love with the idea of love rather than actually falling in love, but Amber...that woman is IN LOVE. I'm pretty hardhearted at times. I'm not a crier. It's really hard for me to cry, it didn't used to be, but I literally think I cried myself out when my mom died. I'm much more likely to be an angry crier than a sad/happy/emotional crier. Tonight...Amber brought tears to my eyes. Why? How? Is that even possible? Yes...because the way that woman talked about her husband is the way I want to talk about my significant other and the way I want them to talk about me. Her husband wasn't in the room. He'll probably never hear the amazing things she said about him but it doesn't matter. Amber wasn't saying any of that to impress us or to suck up to him, she said in pure, romantic love and it was so amazing to see. 

Amber is powerful. She is funny. She is smart. She is driven. She openly admits her faults. She praises her own strengths. She is a flatout, plain and simple woman of God and it is awesome. 

It is by no small coincidence that Amber was the speaker tonight. I'd had a particularly trying day at work and after hearing Amber speak I just want to go hug all my kids and tell them I love them. Amber has such a passion for our field and it's amazing. It's the same passion I have and I just like to be reminded sometimes that I'm not crazy for doing this work and that I'm not alone. She gets burnt out, she gets tired, she worries, but she never succumbs to it, she just throws it to God. She said something really cool tonight and I want to remember it forever. 

Her brother-in-law had asked her how she can do the job she does and not let it affect her, he asked if she thought it would take years off the back end of her life. She answered like this (I'm paraphrasing): 

In scripture, Jesus calls us to feed his sheep and take care of his sheep. Some people get to take care of the easy, healthy sheep in the barn but Amber's calling (and my calling) is to take care of the biting, kicking, difficult sheep in a different barn. 

Our jobs are not always easy. In fact, most days it's like running up the down escalator, however, it's worth it. When you put your life into the perspective of "if I'd been in 16 different placements by the age of 16 I'd probably want to punch and kick people too", it helps you understand the hurt these kids feel. My prayer today and everyday going forward is that I remember that and I use that as the core of my treatment work. I have the difficult sheep, but I might not always work in this barn, but as long as I do I know I'm fulfilling my calling and He'll carry me through.