You Float Like a Feather

It's possible I've listened to the same song 7 times in a row. And by possible, I mean it happened and is continuing to happen, that number might as well be 7.5 or eleventeen. I can't stop. 

Let's talk about today though. I went into work at the crack of dawn. I ninja'd into my office. NO ONE knew I was there *mission accomplished* I was there for two hours before anyone found me and that person only found me because he's my boss and has a key and it's acceptable for him to find me. I got home from work at 2:30, it was amazing. Then something happened. Let's call it THE FEELING. This is the feeling that has been my life for the past few weeks...er...months. 

The feeling is that there is just too much, I'm just too tired, I can't do it, so instead...I'll take a nap. That's what happened from 3:30 pm until 8:30 pm. Ladies and gentlemen, that's not a nap, it's called going to bed and having a morning at nighttime. It doesn't make ANY MORE SENSE. I have been doing this for weeks. It is crazy. I will take a "nap" and then wake up, have a cup of coffee and do some homework...JUST LIKE MORNING. 

"I know you can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed, but can you ever just be...whelmed?"

When I sit back and think about my life right now, the feeling strikes me. A friend asked me today how I'm doing and I said that I sit in a constant state of being overwhelmed by life. I have approximately 10 weeks left of classes. I just found out I have to take a test this summer before starting my internship (thank-you-ridiculous-Illinois-laws-that-we-just-find-out-about-but-have-to-deal-with). I live in a house half filled with broken crap...this is not a joke (two broken couches, broken refrigerator, mattress on the floor in the master bedroom). I work full time and then some at a job that isn't exactly relaxing (but I still love it). Oh...and I'm going through a divorce, trying to somehow pay for everything that I paid for on dual incomes ALL BY MY FREAKING SELF. 

You know what though? I'm going to do it. Why? I'm too stubborn to give up. I wanted to sit and throw a pity party today. Instead, I listened to this song on loop and embraced my creep-ness and decided I am f***ing special.